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Infidelity in Marriage

Man is distressed while sitting on a brown leather couch in a dark room

Infidelity Truths

Infidelity is one of the most devastating blows a marriage can experience. The current statistics surrounding infidelity are alarming at best and downright frightening when you find yourself at the odds. Some estimations say 30-60% of marriages will experience infidelity, with a few studies reaching as high as 80%. Most researchers agree that it’s very difficult to accurately assess how widespread this problem is due to its secretive nature. From all accounts the estimations are conservative figures. One thing remains certain, infidelity is one of the most difficult challenges that any marriage can experience.

Most infidelity can be blamed on opportunity. There is no place where opportunity knocks louder than the workplace. Most affairs start out very innocent. No one wakes up one morning and says, “I think I’ll get involved with someone from work.” Spending large amounts of time around the same individual is how most inappropriate relationships begin. At first, the thoughts are truly pure, “wow, that person is so nice, they are easy to talk to.” We first identify the relationship as a good friendship, nothing more. As time progresses, the friendship deepens, opening the door to disclosing personal information. Before long, one’s thoughts often drift towards wondering what the other person is doing and looking forward to seeing them. As the infidelity trap deepens, people begin to find reasons why they need to have interaction with the other person.

The relationship progresses and physical touch soon becomes desired. It begins with a simple touching of the hand or shoulder, completely innocent or that’s what one tells themselves, all along fulfilling a dangerous desire. Before long, the physical connection grows into something that neither person had set out to achieve. What makes infidelity so powerful is that people experience feelings that they don’t know how to process. Intellectually, they’ll know what they are doing is wrong but struggle to understand if it’s so wrong, and why it feels so right. Never before have they experienced such an intense connection with another person, and become consumed with the fixation.

While the infidelity trap deepens, thoughts of justification begin to rationalize destructive behaviors. To ease their conscience, they usually turn to blaming others for their choices. The onslaught of blaming comes with such force that reasoning and all rational thought are thrown out the window. Destruction continues as two individuals experience the consequences of such behavior. The days ahead are met with disbelief from one spouse and anger from the other.


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